I just realized that it’s our FIRST
Christmas together in our very own apartment. It’s 3:45pm and we just finished
Christmas decorating. We both had to apologize for yelling at each other and
the entire house is in need of a day of cleaning. More importantly we talked about how Jesus was born, and A yelled with joy to be able to decorate
together. Her favorite Christmas song is “Away in the Manger”. I also
discovered that we own approximately 4 ornaments which makes me laugh! I had to
hang all of them with paperclips…. The rest of our decorations are from the ‘80’s…
or Walmart…or just toys! A picked out the sparkly-est ones possible today,
and her ornament of choice was a Christmas Barbie (she cried because she couldn’t
lift up her dress to see if she was wearing clothes underneath. And because
Barbie didn’t have a name so I named her Barbie Rose Christmas… that made her
mad) The tree topper A picked is actually so gaudy and huge that I couldn’t
take a picture, but it’s up there and I’m going to love it.
Life is so messy; loving other
people is so freaking messy. Being loved unconditionally and being given every
last thing we need by God and our entire community, as we have been given this year (AGAIN) has been unfathomable. Looking at our Nativity, set you can see it’s quite a
rowdy collection. A few playmobil people, a porcelain angel from my sweet
friend, and the original set that’s missing quite a few people (and somehow had an
extra baby Jesus... and a random pig. In the picture Barbie and Mary and A are talking (as
they should be).
Our Nativity set is exactly what I
need to see. Through the beautiful undoing of my attempt to control our lives
these past 4 years, and the acceptance of God’s kindness and love, I have realized more
than ever that He loves to draw straight with crooked lines. I would never have
arrived in this raw, vulnerable place of needing other people and needing God
so very badly if I had designed my own perfect adventure. Instead I have
scribbled and scribbled, and God has taken all the scribbles and put them into His giant beautiful story.
Merry (almost) Christmas! Let's start celebrating now!
(Having a child on my head at all times is normal)
