Tears of Joy

           I haven’t wanted to say much of what has been happening in my life because it seemed wrong with my news feed blowing up with so much tragedy and pain. It has broken my heart to see the suffering and grief of other people close to me and in the rest of the world. But today is Thanksgiving, and I have to share.

It’s embarrassing to say there were times this semester when I came close to giving up, specifically in the matter of school. I came close to a few months of allowing depression and self-pity and of course just good old exhaustion to wear me down so far and almost win. I have never felt more overwhelmed in my life.

I am thankful today because there were so many people that stood with me during this time and will continue to stand with me even when they have to crawl down in the hole and drag me out.  

                                     

-Thank you to the kind person who because of their belief in God saw fit to provide Avalon and I with brand-new snow tires and then give more money to me than anyone ever has before. I am speechless and still cry when I think about it.

-Thank you to my coworkers who have daily carried my burdens in more ways than I can count.

-Thank you to my friends who have given premade dinners to us and overwhelmed me with your love.

-Thank you to my Maggie, who has taken A several times overnight and provided me with actual sanity.

-Thank you to my big brother who has never given up on me and thinks I am smart— For coming over even when he’s exhausted and helping me with homework problems.

-Thank you to my mom, dad, and sister-in-law for providing such love and care for A and me that A begs me to go back to your house.

-Thank you to the person who has provided the most beautiful apology I have ever heard in my life. I forgive you with my whole heart.

-Thank you to my new family who have always found ways to love us from across a distance.  I can’t wait to see you again/meet you.

                                       

-Thank you to all of you, you know who you are, who have listened to me rant in person and over text and listened and allowed me to “cry ugly” in front of you. Even the smallest phrase of encouragement has helped. There’s too many of you to list. I love you.

-Thank you God for being my best friend, my Father, my comforter, my hero. You have been the greatest Friend of all. You are the reason I live. You have completely wiped away my sins and the massive debt I could never repay with the mercy of the gift of Your Son. You have made sure that I never forget how much you love me. You have answered every prayer, You have written my name on Your hand, and You have bottled my tears. And I’m only just beginning to know You...

                                                 

-Thank you to my little daughter. You are the one thing I never knew I needed. You have saved my spiritual and physical life more times than I can count. 

                                                

Faith

"When God told Abraham, who was a hundred at the time, that at the age of ninety his wife, Sarah, was finally going to have a baby, Abraham came close to knocking himself out—'fell on his face and laughed,' as Genesis puts it (17:17). In another version of the story (18:8ff.), Sarah is hiding behind the door eavesdropping, and here it's Sarah herself who nearly splits a gut—although when God asks her about it afterward, she denies it. 'No, but you did laugh,' God says, thus having the last word as well as the first. God doesn't seem to hold their outbursts against them, however. On the contrary, God tells them the baby's going to be a boy and they are to name him Isaac. Isaac in Hebrew means "laughter."

Why did the two old crocks laugh? They laughed because they knew only a fool would believe that a woman with one foot in the grave was soon going to have her other foot in the maternity ward. They laughed because God expected them to believe it anyway. They laughed because God seemed to believe it. They laughed because they half believed it themselves. They laughed because laughing felt better than crying. They laughed because if by some crazy chance it just happened to come true, they would really have something to laugh about, and in the meanwhile it helped keep them going.

Faith is 'the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen,' says the Letter to the Hebrews (11:1). Faith is laughter at the promise of a child called Laughter."

Frederick Buechner, from Wishful Thinking: a Seeker's ABC

http://frederickbuechner.com/content/faith